boys don't like girls with scars

Okay. I figured it out. See, because of the fact that I hate myself so much I find it hard to "accept love". From anyone who isn't family, at least. So, when Jacob (boyfriend) says something really cute or explains how much he loves me, it surprises me. Because, in all reality, I'm just here. Nothing special. Not beautiful, not talented, nothing. I'm just here. Yet, he finds the simplest things about me and "falls in love with them" I'm guessing. Which I really don't understand. And it's not me who thinks that he's going to break up with me, it's everyone else. People don't like us dating because of this whole thing with his ex that ended really badly. And they don't want that to happen with me, and I end up getting hurt. Which I completely understand. That's simply looking out for your friend. But when you tell me every single day that he's going to break up with me and you start starting bets on when we're going to break up and you start rumors about me saying I'm going on movie dates with other guys, that's completely changing the situation. So, I know that he's not going to break up with me (he's constantly talking about our children and our marriage and our wedding and stuff like that), he knows that he's not going to break up with me, and yet we both constantly think one of us is going to break up with the other. Because of all the stupid people. So. Long story short, everybody wants us to break up except for us. And because they're constantly impounding this whole "wtf bitch he doesn't love you he's just going to break up with you" thing into my head and so I start to believe it. Which I shouldn't. So I'm stopping. Okay. I love you, Darling.