Me

Before I start ranting, and someone reads this and thinks that i'm complaining about nothing, let me explain who i am. Well, you can call me May. Though that's not my real name. I hate myself. Let's just get that out of the way. I compare myself to everyone else, and not just in looks. In everything else. Personality, talent, esteem, life. Just anything they have that I wish I could. I'm an ex-cutter. Clean 6 days. Only because some people took my razor and smashed it with a brick. So even if I wanted to, I couldn't. Because of the fact that I don't like myself, I can't accept love. Which results in me thinking that everybody hates me. People who aren't my family, atleast. The one "something" that I had mentioned in the first post is my boyfriend. See, he drives me insane. And that's what the next post will probably be about. Anyways, I've never felt good enough. I always feel insignificant. Worthless. "Be careful or you might trip over my low self esteem." That kind of thing. The only thing I've started to feel better about, is how I look. Simply because I've taken the actions that I need to get my looks where I want them to be. *sips sprite* You know, working out, cleaning my face, putting on makeup. Those kinds of actions. I don't really know how to describe my self hate. It's the kind where I wish I was blind so I wouldn't have to look at myself. I just... I don't want to talk about it anymore. Maybe this blog wasn't as good of an idea as I thought it was going to be. I love you, darling.